


Crying Breakfast Friends

by Owliye



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Crack, M/M, biscuit!yuuri, noodle!viktor, they're items of food I feel bad for using actual tags, trash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-29
Updated: 2017-02-10
Packaged: 2018-09-20 13:27:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9493439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Owliye/pseuds/Owliye
Summary: he was a noodle, he was a custard cream, can I make it any more obvious (chapter 2 has explicit biscuit content ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) )





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Melody0136](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melody0136/gifts).



> I haven't written fanfiction in 4 years and there's a good reason for that. this is trash 
> 
> also happy birthday, lettuce-senpai :)
> 
> (I wrote this as a joke and people actually read it, thank you so much :D )

After a long day of bananyaing and being really cute, the kitchen was empty, apart from a smouldering noodle bowl and the last custard cream in the packet.  
Suddenly, life came out of the noodle.

"Yuuri-chan!" He noodled, stretching out his long noodley appendage, to noodley reach the inviting creamy biscuit that lay before him. His noodley dumplings glistened invitingly in the sunlight and he was really noodley gay for that noice lil biscuit.

The young custard cream nyaed, too overwhelmed with sexual weeaboo passion. "B..b...but VIKTORO SENPAI??!" His creamy interior exploded, leaving behind sparkles and all-consuming homosexual love. 

then the ghost biscuit reappeared, inside the noodle bowl. the oaty-brek and the smol blonde bab looked on disapprovingly.

The noodle was left alone, a single candle melting in his cold noodley water. He sobbed a thousand noodley tears for his poor lil biscuit bae and for the sexytimes that could've been but weren't.


	2. Dodgy Breakfast Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> like the last one but with questionable biscuit porn

A week after the terrible incident, the kitchen was relatively quiet. A bowl of cold ass noodles, a packet of Oaty-brek! and a muffin with a lesbian haircut sat on the counter, waiting for anything to happen. 

With a flash of magical sparkles, a magical custard cream biscuit called Yuuri Katsuki appeared. Viktor gasped noodley, "Yuuri!" Suddenly, a cloud of sexual tension filled the air. Viktor noodley waved his long noodley noodles seductively in the air, as Yuuri biscuit hopped towards him.

The slippery, noodley noodle slipped inside the biscuit crevice. "Yassss, Viktor-chan!" The custard cream moaned, ready for more highly inappropriate shenanigans. "My delicious custardy filling is dripping with pleasure!" Viktor lennily noodled, doing a lil seductive santa laugh. Another noodley noodle entered the creamy hole, a little bit like tentacle porn but less gluten-free. 

"Victor-channnnn! I think I'm going to crumb!" Yuuri nyaed sexually, the custard cream filling spilling across the kitchen counter, as the noodley noodle noodlegasmed. 

 

As the strange foodstuffs sat on the kitchen counter, the Oaty-brek shielded the lil gay muffin and gave him a seasonal Valentine's Day card because he was too smol for this weird shit.


End file.
